Posts Tagged ‘newborn baby’

Toys and playing
A newborn baby has a special relationship with the world around it. In the first place, the child and his world are still one, and all the impressions from that world have a

deep effect on the child’s organism. This applies to the baby’s food, but also for impressions, such as the arms rocking him or the sound of lullabies.
In addition, we find that everything the child does is a form of play. The whole voyage of discovery of his own body takes place with great perseverance, as well as with great

joy. For example, the child sees and discovers his hands and puts them together. Although these are uncontrolled movements at first, the baby practises this hand-eye

coordination time and time again. The pleasure he gets from this is quite tangible.
The baby needs very few toys during his first year, actually no more than what is available in the home in terms of safe and attractive shapes, and what you can make simply

yourself. The fewer objects in the child’s environment, the more thoroughly these will be explored, held, sucked and eventually understood. If the child has too many toys he

cannot
choose; attention to the world, interest and concentration can actually be practised best when the child has few objects around him.
Background music should also be avoided. It distracts the child from listening to the sounds produced by his own activities.
Every object should be simple and straightforward, so that it leaves something to the child’s imagination.
We should focus our attention not only on the safety of the material, but also ask ourselves whether the child can gain different experiences. A piece of wood has a particular

weight, which can be felt and a grain which can be examined with the fingertips. Both elements reveal very different things from a cuddly toy. The child’s gaze can be captured

by bright colours and rigid, caricatured shapes; his eyes are powerfully drawn to the object, and it is no longer possible to pay attention to it in a free and playful way. This

applies to an extreme extent with regard to television.
It is a good idea to alternate playing alone and playing together. On the one hand, it is good for the child’s development to learn to play alone and experience things in a

quiet, peaceful atmosphere. On the other hand, the parent and child can gain a great deal of pleasure, for example, from playing games while the child sits on his parent’s lap,

giving and taking bricks and so on. The practical sections of this book explore further possibilities in greater detail.
Play is an essential element in a child’s life. It is a preparation for being able to work with concentration and enthusiasm in adult life.
Safety
The child’s safety is an important part of upbringing. Parents can avoid many dangerous situations, though not all, by taking safety measures in and around the house.
Keeping an eye on the child, knowing where he is and what he is doing, is the second important factor with regard to safety at home.
The third factor is concerned with teaching the child. You can teach your child safe behaviour by helping him to learn to recognise dangerous situations, by teaching all sorts

of skills properly (going up and down stairs, cycling etc.) and by insisting on obedience, particularly with regard to safety. This third factor, teaching safety, hardly plays

any role during the first year. Safety measures in and around the house are discussed in the practical section of the book (see Chapters 3-6).
Many children learn to do something new at a time when you are not really expecting it. Suddenly they appear to be able to roll over or stand up in their cot. Anticipate these

situations and make sure that you take the right safety precautions in good time. The description of successive psychomotor skills may help in this respect.
Parents’ behaviour also contributes to making the environment more or less safe. Clear discipline in the home, clear habits and customs, a good safety routine and clear
agreements    also with brothers
and sisters will increase safety. Nevertheless, it is an art to remember these, even in unexpected situations (the telephone ringing, unexpected visits etc).
Keeping an eye on the child in the first few months mainly means not leaving the baby alone on the dressing table or wherever you change his nappies, and knowing whether there

are any brothers, sisters or pets near him. From the moment that the baby starts to crawl, stand and walk, it becomes increasingly important to keep an eye on him, because the

area in which he moves becomes larger and larger.

Care
Boundaries
Birth is an immense change for the baby. Her whole physiology changes fundamentally and she experiences a completely new environment. The boundaries of the womb are left behind and she enters a ‘boundless’ world. In the womb, the child was able to grow harmoniously, protected from the world.
This reveals that everything that is developing requires a protective environment. With a newborn baby, and actually throughout childhood, this protective environment is constantly provided to establish firm foundations for later life. Unconsciously, the child is constantly reminded of the situation in the womb, which is related to an experience of security, safety, protection and fundamental confidence.
Warmth
The womb not only protects the embryo from the world; it also surrounds it with an even temperature of 37°C (98.6°F). A ‘warm environment’ is provided in the best possible way.
After birth, a child has to learn to maintain her own body temperature at a constant level, at first with the help of adults. She must interrelate the warm and cold parts of the body. This is achieved by means of a sensitive metabolic process which generates heat.
Normal growth and the development of the normal physical processes are also dependent on this metabolism. All the heat which the baby does not have to produce herself in order to maintain her temperature at the right level will benefit growth.
It takes the child a long time to regulate her own temperature; the normal difference of PC (2°F). between the body temperature during the night and the day is achieved by most children between their fifth and ninth months. Up to that time they are extremely dependent on the extra warmth provided in the form of good physical care, clothes, and hot water bottles used to warm the cradle before they are placed in it.
The ability to distinguish whether something is hot or cold is learnt during the initial period. The better this ability has been developed by providing sufficient warmth in childhood, the better the child can use it at a later age.
Cold feet are an important sign that extra attention should be devoted to regulating the child’s temperature. A baby should have warm feet, warm legs, a warm body and warm arms.
Special attention to warmth also has another significance. A warm environment helps the child to ‘warm up’ for life on earth. However, our motto is not ‘the warmer, the better,’ because always being dressed in too many clothes or being covered up can actually make a child either drowsy or very restless, and overheating can be very dangerous. Detailed research has revealed that there is a relationship between overheating and cot death. Duvets and synthetic materials can especially cause overheating. Therefore we certainly advise against using these.
In our view, the important thing is to learn to observe the needs of the child with regard to warmth, and to read the signs when more or less warmth needs to be provided in the form of clothes, bedding or ambient heating. The body temperature of the child is the most important thermometer, and in a healthy baby, this fluctuates around 37°C (98.6°F). You can learn to take the baby’s temperature with your hands so that you can literally feel how the child is regulating its own temperature. In the first week or two after birth, take the baby’s temperature every day, as well as feeling how warm she is. Then start testing yourself: feel how warm the baby is, then predict her temperature and check with the thermometer for a few days. If your predictions are correct, you will only have to take the baby’s temperature when you are doubtful or if she is sick.
Impressions
Everything we do, feel and think around the child is assimilated by the child. She is still completely open and has a boundless trust in the environment. The buffer which
we have between ourselves and the world as adults is formed by recognising and understanding that world. A small child is not yet able to do this. Up to about the third year, the child identifies with the environment in which she is living in a very natural way. This is followed by a stage in which thinking gradually assumes set patterns, and the child leans to distinguish herself from the outside world. For the first time, she makes a distinction between her own individuality and the world which is perceived. In this light it is understandable that first memories only go back to the third year, and there are no, or very few, memories before this.
The child is one big sensory organ. Up to the third year, all impressions are assimilated in an uninhibited way and disappear into the subconscious. There they are combined with other physical processes, and a sort of print is made; it is as though the child models the influences of the environment in its own `clay.’ Therefore, it is important that we are aware of what ‘goes into’ the child — also for later on.
Example. A child in a boat on the water, experiences the swell, feels the sunlight on her skin and the wind in her hair, smells the odour of water and fish, is taking in healthy impressions which build up the whole organism. The situation is quite different for a child at a department store who is placed in a rotating ship, which goes round and round when a coin is placed in the machine. The child will enjoy both these experiences, but they affect the organism in significantly different ways. The ‘boat on the water’ situation sounds idyllic; this is usually a vacation experience. However, there are also impressions closer to home, which can be constructive and have the above-mentioned character
Positive, constructive impressions are those impressions in which the natural origin of materials, sounds etc, can be perceived by the child. For hearing, these are the sounds of people and animals, and natural sounds such as the rustling of the wind. For sight, they are natural colours. For the sense of touch, they are materials such as wool, cotton, silk, wood, sand and water.
Many domestic appliances such as vacuum cleaners, washing machines, radio, television and plastic toys were created as a result of human technical ingenuity. For children, these are actually an abstraction, lacking in natural connection.
Radio, television and plastic toys are things you can consciously choose to have or not to have in a small child’s immediate environment. With household appliances, you can take care to minimize the sound in the baby’s immediate environment. So-called ‘white noise’
from household appliances is not a good idea for the young child as it blocks out normal impressions. Autistic children can also become obsessed by white noise. Playing a lyre, humming or singing are better background sounds for the child.
Simple actions such as washing hands, or sweeping up with a dustpan and brush in the child’s presence show how things are done. These actions are enjoyable and you can invite children to imitate them.
The feelings of people around the child also have an effect. It is obvious that a child will thrive best in a genuine atmosphere of joy and warmth. This has a positive effect. But there is not a parent in the world that is always cheerful and relaxed at every moment of the day (and night). It is worth aiming to achieve these qualities, but at times when you do not succeed, you must take them for what they are — also real human emotions. In every family there are days when everything goes pear-shaped and the ideal image of a happy family seems a long way off. Humour is always a good remedy. It can be a relief if you can laugh about yourself and the situation.
The needs which were mentioned above — that is, the need for boundaries, warmth and positive impressions — make great demands on the environment. It means that parents must have clear insight and a good level of empathy to get things right: too cold or too warm, too many im-pressions or too quiet, well-protected or not enough room to breathe?
From this point of view, we would like to discuss a number of practical aspects of childcare.
Clothes
Clothes are like a second skin, which support the functions of the skin. The skin helps to regulate body temperature and protects us from infections. In addition, the skin is a sensory organ with which we perceive the environment. These three functions are most effectively supported with clothes made of wool, silk, cotton or hemp. These fibres are preferable as they provide sense impressions from a natural source via the skin, which help the child to build up its body. Other fibres are more alien, and even viscose, which is made from cotton or wood, is processed quite strongly, in a way which is now known to be quite polluting.
Wool
Sheep’s wool protects the sheep from heat and cold, rain and toxic waste. The curls trap the warm air around the sheep’s skin. The wool keeps out the rain, and waste products are absorbed and emitted through the wool via perspiration.
All these qualities are found in woollen clothes. The warmth of the wool protects the child from cooling down too quickly and supports her unstable heat regulation system which cannot yet retain body heat.
Its absorbent capacity (30 to 40%) ensures that the child remains comfortably dry. The quality of the wool depends on the age of the sheep, the animal’s diet and health, as well as the way in which the wool was turned into clothing.
Finely knitted woollen vests are available, which forma soft, flexible outer skin. Woollen jumpers and cardigans should be loose fitting so that they are easy to put on and take off. Woollen pants are wonderful to use over cotton nappies. They can be knitted easily, preferably from slightly greasy sheep’s wool, and are ideal for absorbing moisture and neutralizing the waste products in urine.
A woollen shawl will keep the baby warm when there are fluctuations in temperature. Woollen socks will also keep the feet nice and warm. Furthermore, wool does not attract dirt, and therefore woollen clothes do not have to washed as often as cotton clothes, though they do have to be aired regularly.
Silk
The silkworm spins its cocoon of silk thread, in which the worm is sealed off from any negative external influences. The silk is made under the influence of sunlight — at sunset, the silkworm stops spinning, and at sunrise, it starts work again.
If you use silk in clothes, you will feel its enclosing qualities. Furthermore, silk can absorb 30% of its weight in moisture without feeling damp. In addition, silk retains heat when it is cold and releases heat when it is warm. That is why silk is worn especially in summer. Silk and, in particular, knitted silk is an excellent basic material for vests, but it is advisable to put a woollen vest over the silk vest as well.
Children who are sensitive to wool against the skin, and children who are very sensitive to impressions and consequently become restless, will benefit from wearing a silk vest.
Cotton
Cotton is widely used nowadays for children’s clothes, especially as this material can be washed so easily in the washing machine. At the same time, it should be said that it actually has to be washed often because it attracts dirt easily. Cotton can absorb 20% of its own weight in moisture.
As cotton cannot absorb heat, this passes easily through the material to the outside air. Consequently, this material is not the best choice for a child’s underclothes throughout the year. Furthermore, the way in which cotton is grown is not particularly environmentally friendly, and chemical products are often used in the treatment of the material. Fortunately, there are several eco-cotton projects which now promote its environmentally-friendly cultivation and processing, and eco-cotton is becoming increasingly available in shops and over the internet.
We suggest dressing the baby in at least two layers of clothing, covering the whole body, including the arms, legs and feet. This produces a layer of air between the two layers which retains heat. In a temperate climate, a long-sleeved woollen vest — or a vest of wool and silk — can be worn for most of the year.
In practice, we regularly find that babies are not dressed warmly enough, and they are often restless and troubled by stomach cramps, or they are constantly crying. The simple remedy of dressing the child more warmly, in better fitting clothes, will do wonders for this.
Bonnets
Unfortunately, bonnets are no longer in fashion. In comparison with the rest of their bodies, little babies often have an enormous — and sometimes rather bald — head. The head is constantly losing heat, which should really be retained for the development of the brain and organs. On the one hand, a silk bonnet will retain the baby’s heat, and oil the other hand, it protects the head and the open fontanel from a restless environment. It is important for the forehead to be free, because this part of the body acts as a sort of thermostat for regulating body heat. Where it is often windy, it may also be necessary for the baby to wear a second bonnet made of wool. There are wonderful bonnets on sale, or they can be knitted in material which is so soft that it is like a second skin.

Bonnets can be removed when the child is in the cot as long as the baby is well protected.
Wraps and swaddling
Because of the need for boundaries, it is understandable why many babies, as well as older children, calm down and fall asleep easily when they are firmly tucked in, or if they are wrapped up or swaddled.
Usually, babies have a flannel sheet wrapped around them, during the postnatal period, but this often disappears, to be replaced by a babygro/sleepsuit. We recommend continning to use a swaddling cloth and wrapping it firmly around the babygro/sleepsuit before putting the baby to bed (see illustration). As the baby still lies with its arms and legs bent, it should be swaddled in this position, to increase the sense of security. The baby can now relax and will fall asleep warm and snug. However, you must make sure that the baby is not wrapped up too warmly (see p.25).
The woollen wrap can serve as a blanket outside the cot for when the baby is fed. When the woollen cloth is no longer sufficient, use a (woollen) baby sleeping bag for in bed.

Children who remain restless and have difficulty falling asleep despite being wrapped up, as well as babies who do not establish a good rhythm of drinking/sleeping, may benefit from the old-fashioned method of swaddling in which the arms are also wrapped up so that the child cannot flail about. Flailing is often a response to crying, cramps or fright, but because it is involuntary, it can cause new restlessness. Swaddling can help to break this vicious circle.
Many parents find it difficult to restrict their baby in this way; in our age of boundless freedom, it is not so easily accepted. However, parents usually overcome their resistance when they see how the baby responds to swaddling. For most babies, it results in a much greater sense of peace, and consequently they sleep well and establish a pattern of sleeping and feeding every few hours. Nowadays, two methods of swaddling are recommended: either ready-made swaddling blankets or swaddling wraps, or using the method shown at the back of this book (see p.108). (See also Blom, Crying and Restlessness in Babies.)
The cradle
The cradle is an important successor of the smallest home in which the baby lived before birth. You can opt for a basket cradle (Moses basket), a wooden (rocking) cradle or
a cot. For safety considerations, the baby’s feet should always be placed at the end of a cot, with its head halfway down. Tuck in the blanket in such a way that the head is free and the shoulders are covered. A hood or canopy over the cradle or cot makes the space more intimate, so that the child is not distracted by the environment and can sleep more peacefully.
For the canopy, it is best to use plain materials in soft colours. A canopy made of light blue silk combined with a layer of pink silk gives a very subtle calming colour.
The mattress must be absolutely flat, providing good support, and it must be well-ventilated and warm. Our preference is for a mattress of kapok, cotton or another natural material. A sheep’s fleece can be placed on the mattress. The fleece is soft and gives a beneficial warmth so that the newborn baby is protected from cooling down too quickly. Make sure that the fleece is not too large and lies on the mattress without any folds. Cover the fleece with a sheet. The bedding should be made of cotton and wool. Do not use synthetic materials. The sheets and blankets should be big enough to tuck the baby in quite firmly. The fleece and the mattress should be regularly aired. If you use a woollen wrap there are likely to be patches of damp under the mattress. If necessary, use a waterproof sheet. There are cotton sheets available that are impregnated with rubber and do not feel clammy. We do not recommend the use of duvets, even those made of wool, because of the risk of suffocation.
If the cradle is next to the window, watch out for overheating in the sun. A baby can easily become too hot in a heated room when the sun shines through the window.
The playpen
Up to the age of four months, it is not really necessary to have a playpen. Nevertheless, when the baby is downstairs, it is a good idea to have a safe place to place it. A wicker basket with a soft cover, or the bed of a pram, are quite suitable.
We do not recommend the frequent use of a baby seat or recliner, as the baby is stimulated by the ac-
tion of sitting in an upright position at a stage when he is still physically immature. The baby can only lie passively in a baby seat, which does not matter for a short period, but is harmful to physical development in the long term.
This objection does not apply so much to the use of a recliner, but there are other objections; when the baby discovers that he can bounce the recliner with one leg, he often finds it difficult to stop, even when he gets tired of the mechanical movement.
When the baby starts to reach out for things and becomes more active in its motor development, it is time for a playpen. Quite apart from the fact that this provides a safe place for the child to learn to sit and stand, it is often a favourite place for being quiet and for playing undisturbed. A cloth cover, like a curtain, along three sides of the playpen will increase the sense of security, and is not to be confused with cot bumpers, which are not recommended as they pose a suffocation risk for the young child. For motor development, it is important that the floor of the playpen is sturdy and not too smooth (for example, a cloth folded double), so that the child can roll over and can put pressure on it.
Walkers and baby bouncers
We emphatically advise against the use of walkers and baby bouncers. These are ‘aids’ which speed up the child’s motor development in an unnatural way. Children certainly like to use these things — especially if they can move around in them quickly — and want to use them more and more. However, it is much better for a child to learn to stand and walk at his own pace. In this sense, walkers and baby bouncers do not help healthy development in any way, and are actually more of a deterrent to healthy development.
Prams and baby carriers (slings)
The pram can be a safe and sheltered place in which the baby can sleep outside during the first few months. For walking, a baby carrier is often a better alternative because it means
that the baby moves in time with the pace at which the adult is walking, and is not shaken about so much as in a pram, as it goes up and down the pavement. The child is carried in a natural position in a baby carrier (sling), (see the illustration on p. 106).
However, at this point a warning should be given. It has been shown that babies can become too hot and stuffy, particularly if carried under a coat. Unfortunately, there are even a few cases, which resulted in a baby’s death. We recommend that you keep a careful eye on a baby in a baby carrier, and if possible carry it on top of a coat rather than underneath, with, if necessary, a woollen cloth around the baby.
The disadvantage of a baby carrier in which the baby is in a vertical position is that the baby did not take up this position itself. In this sense, the baby carrier is not for babies until they reach the age of nine months. A sling is preferable, as the whole back and head are supported, although it might be tiring for the mother to carry.
When a baby has reached the age for a pram, the best model is one in which the baby faces the parent. In this way, the baby constantly has the comforting face of its father or mother in front of it, and can find out from that face what is happening in the big wide world. A traditional pram has the advantage that the child lies flat, as at this age the baby’s head is still relatively heavy and the neck cannot keep the head in a stable position. We recommend a buggy only from the age when the child is able to sit unassisted.

General Points of View
In this section we describe a number of points of view which serve as a guideline for the way we view, and relate to, young children.
The child’s development and care, sleeping and waking, play and toys, safety and feeding are subjects which will be tackled in this section in terms of content. A practical approach to these subjects can be found under the advice for every stage (see Chapters 3-6).
The child’s development
From the moment the child is born, the parents have the important task of monitoring his or her development. This gives rise to many questions. How can we best prepare for the child’s future? Should we, or should we not, familiarize the child with elements of adult life at an early stage, so that she will be prepared for this later on? The answers to these questions will depend on your view of the child’s developmental stages.
We proceed on the assumption that the more successfully a child is able to fully develop at a particular stage, the more harmonious the development will be. This also applies for future development.
Fora baby and young child, this means that we must create the conditions in which a baby can most successfully be a baby, and a young child can most successfully be a young child.
The first developmental stage after birth is strongly centred on the child’s physical and motor development. Growth is quite exceptional during the first year of life, and is still rather like the growth of the embryo. The development and growth, which takes place outside the womb in humans, takes place completely inside the womb in other mammals. When the child is one year old, the development has reached a level comparable to the birth level of other mammals.
For the baby’s development, it is good if the conditions after birth are still quite similar to the situation in the womb. This particularly concerns the protective cocoon around the child. Warmth, a sense of security and some protection against environmental influences promote the baby’s health. It is extremely important for the baby’s physical development for her to have physical contact — rocking, cuddling or simply holding the baby in your arms. Children who lack this physical contact do not develop well, even if they have ‘the best feeding.’ These babies immediately start to grow again when attention and care is devoted to physical contact. Satisfying the need for physical contact gives the child a basis for the rest of his or her life.
Nevertheless, in humans, a good environment alone does not guarantee development. Every person has his own rate of development and his own way of developing. For example, there are babies who develop motor skills very quickly, sit up at an early stage, roll over, stand and walk. On the other hand, other children appear to ’stand still’ in their development fora long time, then seem to miss out a few stages and can suddenly walk, even though they never crawled. Some children start to develop speech very early, while others remain unintelligible for a long time.
It is important to be aware of a child’s own way of developing. There may be a tendency to a certain one-sidedness. This sort of one-sidedness — for example, the slow development of speech — can be regarded as the child’s own way of developing. It is only when this one-sidedness is particularly strong that it may be seen as a developmental disorder.
Thus, the first year of the child’s development can be seen as a continuation of the embryonic stage.
During this first year of life, the body matures to the extent that the child becomes able to control it for herself. A one-year-old child can stand and go where she likes and move about freely in space. It is as though she is taking charge of her own physical body. This stage of development depends on healthy physical growth and development. Illness and malnutrition will immediately delay the process. Development at this stage is mainly influenced by the physical organism and the care of this organism.
The basis for the later development of speech is laid during the first year of life. Talk to, and with, the baby, and play with her. She sees the gestures which accompany words, and hears the songs. All this contributes to the child becoming increasingly familiar with human language. The clearest sign of this is contented baby talk by the end of the first year of life.
After the first year, the child depends on being able to imitate what she has heard. She will start to copy the words herself, first words of one syllable and then words of several syllables. She then begins to combine words, and finally produces short sentences. In this way, the child enters a second area in which she can move about freely — the field of language. By mastering speech and language, the child takes part in social life in her own way, and becomes able to express herself through the spoken word.

The next stage of development is the time at which the child starts to say ‘U Prior to that stage the child called herself by her own name. This can be seen as an expression of the fact that the child was not yet deeply connected with her own body; thus in a sense the child saw herself from outside, as other people see her.
When she becomes more closely connected with her own body, the first, still primitive, sense of self-consciousness emerges and the child experiences a sense of self; she starts to say ‘F and experiences herself as a centre. As a result of this process, the child may also feel cut off from the world around her.
By the age of three or four, the child has gone through a sort of first cycle of development. By learning to stand and walk, she has achieved a certain degree of freedom in space. By learning to speak and understand, she can develop socially and communicate with others. With the deeper connection of the self and the body, self-consciousness emerges for the first time, and this is expressed when the child uses the word ‘I’ to talk about herself.
Learning to use language independently is an important psychological development, as is developing a sense of individuality. However, healthy physical development is always a prerequisite for this. Motor development is particularly important for the development of psychological functions later on. Playing
THE CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT    21
with bricks, simple ball games, finger games, circle games — in short, everything we do with the physical organism of the child as the point of contact — will have a positive influence on development.
The behaviour of the people in the child’s direct environment is very important for development. A small child learns and develops by imitating what she sees, hears, feels and so on. In this way the child learns to walk, speak and think, and during this first learning process carefully assimilates all the details — particularly during the first three years. This once again underlines the importance of being conscious of our own behaviour as well as the material environment of the child (see also Impressions, p.25).
Admittedly, the aspects of child development described here are very general, but they can still provide a direction for the way in which we behave with the child. The care for the physical processes of growth and development are of central importance. We can measure and weigh growth, while we can assess development from the development of the motor system, the mastery of language, and the birth of the ’self’ when the child starts to say ‘F.
Sleeping and waking
During the course of life a person’s need for sleep undergoes great changes. A newborn baby often sleeps for between eighteen and twenty hours out of every twenty-four. A one-year-old can sleep for fourteen hours, while an adult needs between six and eight hours of sleep. Therefore, in the first year of life, the child should spend a great deal of the time asleep.
We have seen that there are two important things in this first year — growth (a baby’s weight triples in the first year) and development. Growth takes place particularly during sleep, while development is stimulated during the waking hours. The various organs ‘learn’ to operate in a sense, with the use of the body during, the daytime (by eating, moving, etc.). What the organs ‘learn’ during the day continues to have an effect while the baby sleeps, and is assimilated in the body’s growth activity.
A one-sided predominance of growth and excessive stimulation to develop both have a negative effect. There should be a healthy balance between the two processes; an alternation between waking and sleeping which is suitable for each stage. When the child is about one year old, this balance will have become established in the operation of the organs, in a particular day/night rhythm — the biological clock.
For good health and for the child to be able to make use of his physical capabilities properly, it is essential for this day/night rhythm to become well established. Therefore, it is literally of vital importance for a small child to establish a steady pattern during the day with regard to sleeping, eating and waking.

A steady pattern of set times in the life of a child promotes growth and development and helps to establish a healthy rhythm of sleeping and waking. Too much stimulation during the day may prevent the child from falling asleep; however, a completely unstimulating environment, without healthy challenges for the child, can also lead to problems with sleep because the child is not sufficiently tired. A healthy routine in the day, alternating challenges and periods of quiet, being together and being alone, can help to correct sleeping problems. Rituals for going to sleep can also be helpful — rocking, singing lullabies, the use of musical boxes or a prayer for the child are methods used by many families.
Sleeping well means that the child must be able to surrender and ‘let go.’ This is not as easy for some children as for others. It is helpful to give the child a sense of security, for example, in the enclosed space of the cradle (possibly with a hood) or lying against the mother. Warmth promotes a sense of comfort and relaxation; a bonnet, a sleeping bag, some drops of lavender water on the pillow, or a hot water bottle can sometimes help babies who find it difficult to fall asleep. Hot water bottles should always be removed before the baby is placed in the warm cradle. A light silk bonnet is appropriate for indoor use, but be aware of the risk of overheating. Wrapping the child up firmly pro-
SLEEPING AND WAKING    23
vides a sense of security as well as a feeling of warmth.
However, there are babies who assimilate everything that happens around them so greedily that they actively seem to suppress their feelings of tiredness and the need for sleep. The more stimulation they are given, the hungrier they seen to be. They are unable to set their own boundaries. Increasingly, we see babies who spend many hours of the day — and sometimes the night —awake, constantly asking for attention from the environment. For these children, the parents must learn to see when they show signs of being sleepy. The fact that this is quite an art is clear from the many stories told about this problem. If you miss the right moment, the child appears to go past his sleepiness and will keep going for many hours. Signs of sleepiness are restlessness or agitation, looking away, rubbing the eyes and face, warm hands and red ears, grizzling and crying. By responding to these signs of sleep immediately and consistently, by placing the baby in his cot, it is possible to create a healthy need for sleep. By not responding straightaway every time the baby cries, he will learn to resolve minor discomfort for himself. It is important to realize that any attention wakes the baby up. All the extra attention and special behaviour associated with going to sleep often achieve quite the opposite of what the parents hope to achieve.

What can I do to help?
partners at the birth
Should I be with my partner as soon as she goes into labour? I’ve heard that first babies take ages.
It’s true that first labours often take quite a few hours, although this is certainly not the case with everyone! When your partner notices signs that labour is beginning, such as a mucousy ’show”, the waters breaking, or irregular period-type pains, she may wish you to be with her. On the other hand, she may be happy to be alone, or with a friend or relative,
and keep you updated by phone Whether or not -you are there really depends on how she feels so good communication between the two of you is the key.
Once your partner is having regular, painful contractions about every five minutes, it would probably be best to be with her, if you aren’t already It is usually around this time that you should be making your way to hospital, if that is where you are planning to have the baby, or contacting the midwife if you are planning a home birth.
I feel very panicky about getting my partner to hospital on time. How can I calm down?
Your anxiety is understandable. However, not many babies are born on roadsides or in hospital car parks — that’s why these stories make their way into newspapers and magazines! It is hard to advise on a definite time to go into hospital as every labour is different and follows a slightly different pattern. However, as a general rule, you should think about going in to hospital if:
•    Your partner has had any vaginal bleeding.
•    Your partner’s waters break (see p.167), She may notice this as a gush of fluid from the vagina, or a more gradual leaking.
* Your partner’s contractions (which are often described as strong period-type pains that are
accompanied by a hardening of the bump) are lasting around 45 seconds each and coming regularly, at least every five minutes.
If you or your partner are unsure about how to proceed, don’t hesitate to give the labour ward a call. An experienced midwife can tell a lot about how far into her labour a woman is likely to be just from talking to her about what is happening.
I’ve heard lots of stories about blokes in the labour ward - I want to be helpful, but I am nervous.
Many men are very anxious about being with their partners during labour and birth. This is often due to the fact that they will be watching their partner experience one of the most intense things a woman can ever do and they may be unsure of how to help
Probably the best way to help overcome your fears is to talk to your partner about how you feel and try to discuss ways in which you could help. You will probably find that there are plenty of ways in which you can support her, such as being aware of her wishes and speaking for her if she is unable to because of the pain, repeating what midwives and doctors have said if she didn’t hear or process the information, passing her a drink, rubbing her back, holding a flannel to her face, switching music on or off, and generally encouraging and reassuring her.
Attending birth preparation classes together can be very useful You will be able to learn more about the process of labour and birth, which can be helpful, and you will learn about how to support -your partner both physically and emotionally. Some classes teach birth partners massage techniques that can be an effective form of pain relief during tabour You will also be shown how you can support your partner in certain birth positions. Your partner’s midwife will be able to advise you on classes available in your area.
I really don’t want to be there - how will I tell her and who should go in my place?
Honesty is the best policy, so you need to talk to your partner about your concerns well in advance of the big day. Although she may feel disappointed at first that you don’t want to be there, she should appreciate your reasons if they are valid ones. Perhaps you could try to reach some sort of compromise whereby you will be with her during the earlier stages of labour, go out for the actual birth (if you are worried about this), and then come back in again straight afterwards to support your partner and meet your new baby
It is up to your partner who else she has with her during labour Women often choose their mum, sister, another female relative, or a close friend to be with them However, if she can’t think of anyone suitable, you may want to consider hiring a doula, who support women in labour (see p. 196); there are websites that can help you with this (see p.310). Your partner may also wish to have more than one birth partner, which most hospitals are happy to accommodate.
What should we do when my partner goes into labour?
Although it is often hard to define when labour has started, if the signs are that your partner is in the early first stages of labour (see p.167), you can both continue with normal activities as long as she feels comfortable. Being aware of how labour progresses and how contractions build up can help you to plan your course of action. For example, if your partner’s waters have broken, established labour usually follows within a few hours (although not always) and it is best to inform the hospital
While you wait for the contractions to become stronger and more regular, try to relax as much as possible between contractions You could make a healthy snack for you both to provide fuel for the hours ahead, practise breathing and relaxation techniques together, or run a warm bath to help your partner relax Once the contractions are around every five minutes and last about 45 seconds, you may wish to consider going into hospital, if that is where you are planning to have your baby. Ring the labour ward first to let them know what is happening
Is massage useful, or will my partner find it irritating when she’s trying to cope with the pain?
Many women find massage, particularly of the lower back to be very helpful during labour. The sensations of warmth and pressure can be soothing and give some relief from pain during labour. Massage stimulates the body to release endorphins, which are the body’s natural painkillers, and also acts as a ”distraction” from pain, providing another focus Communication is the key when it comes to massage. For example, your partner can tell you whether she wants to be massaged during contractions. or just between the contractions, or whether she wants firm or light pressure. You will probably learn simple massage techniques during birth preparation classes, or you may find some classes dedicated to massage techniques for labour. Ask the midwife what is available in your area
It can be the case that some women find that they do not want to be touched at all during labour If your partner feels this way, try not to take it personally -this is her way of dealing with the pain
Apart from massage, are there other ways I can help my partner cope with the pain?
Every woman’s experience of pain during labour is different, and they will have different ways of coping It can be difficult to know in advance if a particular coping technique will help, but many couples find
it helpful to talk before labour about how they might feel, and how the partner may be able to help. While some women find massage beneficial (see above). others will need help to focus on keeping their breathing slow and steady It’s worth practising labour positions that require the support of a partner before the actual birth (see p.182 and p 186). Having some favourite music on in the room may help your partner to relax Above all, most women appreciate encouragement and gentle loving support from their partner, and just the fact that you are there will go a long way in helping her to cope with the pain and exhaustion of labour and birth.
My friend’s husband won’t be at the birth. She wants me to be her birth partner. How can I prepare?
It’s a great privilege to be asked to be a birth partner for a friend and there are plenty of things you can do to prepare for the event. Obviously you will need to talk in advance about your friend’s expectations for labour and familiarize yourself with her birth plan if she has prepared one (see p 149). It’s important to be sensitive to your friend’s wishes, for example does she want you to remain with her throughout, or would she like you to leave the room if she has an internal examination? Talk to her about how she thinks she might react under stress and in pain - is she likely to shout or perhaps become more withdrawn? - so that you can prepare yourself mentally to deal with this. It would also be wise to find out as much as possible about what birth entails - the different stages of labour and what can help or hinder them. You could suggest attending antenatal classes with your friend so that you feel fully informed. It may also help to talk to someone else who has been a birth partner and who may have some useful tips. Bear in mind that you may need to be with your friend for a fairly lengthy amount of time. so you may want to have some provisions for yourself, such as snacks and drinks. You may also need periods of relief during the labour, and there may be times when you feel your morale is flagging. in which case it can be a good idea to have someone on standby who you can phone for encouragement and support.
How will I feel when I see a male doctor examine my partner? Will I feel jealous?
If labour and birth are straightforward, it is unlikely that your partner will need to be examined by a doctor. It is only if there is some concern over the wellbeing of either your partner or the baby, or both, that a doctor’s opinion is sought Even in this situation, an internal examination is not always necessary.
If your partner did need to be examined, you would probably find that you would be too worried to be aware of any feelings of jealousy Doctors, whether male or female, have only your partner’s and baby’s health in mind when they are performing any kind of examination.
I secretly want a boy - I haven’t told my partner - how will I cope if it’s a girl?
This is certainly not an unusual feeling to have and I think that many prospective parents have a preference, secret or otherwise, for a baby of a particular sex While it may take you a little while to become accustomed to having a baby of your less preferred” gender, you may well find that you have no problems at all bonding with the baby if it is a girl Seeing your own newborn baby for the first time is something that no-one can prepare for, and many parents feel a strong rush of emotion straight away. Others take a little longer to fall in love with their baby, and this is fine too.
Whichever sex your baby is, it takes time to get to know him or her. You will probably find that you relish watching every little movement and expression,
touching and stroking his or her little body, and will enjoy learning about all the different aspects of baby care. By being involved with your baby from the beginning, you will quickly experience the joy of parenting your son or daughter
I can be quite panicky in stressful situations. What if I pass out?
The image of the father-to-be fainting onto the floor of the delivery room is often portrayed in cartoons and on birth congratulation cards, but it is far from funny if it actually does happen! Fortunately, it is probably much less common than you may think.
It is understandable for any birth partner to
feel anxious and tense — you are watching someone you care about in pain, and you are m unfamiliar surroundings experiencing probably the most significant moments of your life! Focusing on your partner and attending to her needs may help to keep you occupied and distracted and less likely to dwell on your own anxieties. Also, developing a trusting relationship with your partner’s caregivers will help you feel able to express any worries you are having, and hopefully you will be given the reassurance and information you need
If you do find yourself feeling even the slightest bit woozy, try and leave the room as the midwife will be focused on caring for the mother and baby If you do not have time to leave the room to seek help, and you feel faint, dizzy, or light-headed, try to sit down immediately, with your head lower than your hips, or lie down with your feet raised Try to stop yourself “panic breathing” (breathing quickly and lightly), and take slow, deep breaths You should find that the feeling passes quite quickly. The midwife will probably ring the buzzer for assistance. A good tip is to ensure that you are not too hot — take shorts and a T-shirt with you as delivery rooms can be quite stuffy — and make sure you eat and drink regularly to prevent your feeling faint due to low blood sugar.
Our little boy suffered a lack of oxygen at his birth. He is fine, but I’m anxious about this delivery.
Unborn babies are designed to cope with a moderate lack of oxygen during the birth, which is quite normal Some babies do suffer a greater lack of oxygen, and midwives are often alerted to this by observing the baby’s heart-rate pattern If there is any cause for concern, the baby can be delivered quickly either by forceps or ventouse, or by a Caesarean section In most cases, the baby is born in a healthy condition, or responds quickly to resuscitation after the birth.
Every labour is different and there is no reason why your next baby should react to labour in the same way as your first, but your baby’s heart rate will, of course, be monitored very closely, so you should feel reassured by this.
Will I be able to help the midwife cut the cord after the birth?
It is popular for the baby’s father, or another birth partner, to cut the umbilical cord after the birth. Midwives and doctors are usually happy for this to
happen, as long as there are no problems with the mother or baby that would necessitate the cord being cut very quickly
The cord is tougher than most people think, but the midwife will guide you and show you how to cut it safely. Be warned that it usually takes quite a few attempts to sever it completely!
Will I be able to video or photograph the birth and do I need to agree this in advance?
Most hospitals are happy for you to film or photograph the birth of your baby if that is what you both want However, before you embark on this, you should first check that the midwives or doctors who will be conducting the actual delivery have no objection, as some professionals do not wish to be filmed for legal reasons.
While some couples treasure having a visual record of probably the most special and momentous time of their lives, other couples prefer to start filming or photographing their baby after the actual birth. It is important to consider the impact that being filmed or photographed at such an intimate and vulnerable time could have on your partner, and she should not feel in any way pressured to be filmed Also, it might be worth thinking about how filming the event may affect your actual participation in the birth. If you are concentrating on filming or taking photographs, you may not be as involved in the birth as you could be and may not be providing your partner with all the support that she needs.
When planning how to record the birth of your baby, bear in mind that clear communication between you and your partner before the labour, and with the midwife and doctor once labour has started, is important to ensure that everyone’s wishes in this matter are respected
Can we take food into the delivery room?
Most hospitals are happy for you to bring your
own food and drink into the delivery room, although most are able to provide your partner with light refreshments should she want something It used
to be the case that women in labour weren’t allowed to eat or drink, but nowadays this is not the case. Research on the subject has concluded that it is perfectly safe for women to control their own food and drink intake during labour
However, hospitals don’t tend to provide food for birth partners, so it would be wise to pack plenty of snacks There is usually a canteen on the hospital campus somewhere but getting supplies from there may mean you are away from your partner for a time Alternatively, vending machines may be available.
What and how much your partner eats should be guided by her appetite. She should try, however, to stick to light, easy-to-digest foods that will give her plenty of energy, such as fruit juices, bread and honey, dried fruit, digestive biscuits, or bananas. Once labour is well established, it is likely that she won’t feel much like eating as her body needs to focus on delivering the baby,
I’ve heard that natural or water births are best for the baby. Should I ask my wife to have one?
Most childbirth experts would agree that a straightforward vaginal birth is the safest form of birth for both mother and baby. It is also generally considered safe to use water as a method of relieving the pain in uncomplicated labours (see p, 156) However, it is sometimes not possible to achieve a straightforward vaginal delivery due to certain situations that can arise during pregnancy, labour, and/or the actual birth If a problem with either the mother or baby occurs, the medical team will advise on the safest way of delivering the baby.
It is important that your partner thinks herself about the type of birth she would prefer and does not try something she is uncomfortable with. So it is not really your job to make decisions on behalf of your partner, and it’s also wise to be prepared to be flexible and to see how labour unfolds.
My wife doesn’t remember much about the birth. How much should I tell her?
It’s best to be honest about your memories of the labour and birth, even if this was a daunting experience for you both. You are likely to be the best person to explain to your partner about how she coped, and sharing your memories may help her to feel comfortable about expressing her own emotions about the birth, particularly if it was fairly traumatic. In this case an important part of your partner’s (and your) acceptance of what happened during the birth is to recall the sequence of events and to try to understand why things went the way they did This is especially important if you feel that your partner’s care didn’t go according to the birth plan. If this is the case, you may even want to talk to the midwife who cared for your partner during labour and birth about what happened. You can ask her to go through your partner’s notes with you both and explain exactly what happened. You can also ask for a postnatal ”briefing” to discuss the birth by contacting the head of midwifery at -your local unit.

Extra birth partners

Most hospitals are happy for women to have more than one birth partner, although some do set limits, depending on the amount of available space.
* It’s common for women to have their mum, sister, or close friend with them in addition to their partner.
* If labour is particularly long, having more than one birth partner can mean that they can relieve each other for breaks knowing that the mother has someone with her, * Some evidence suggests that having a female birth partner reduces the amount of pain relief and intervention needed.

Birth partners
The aim of a birth partner, whether this is your husband or life partner, a friend, family member, or hired doula, is to offer practical and emotional support to you throughout labour and birth.
How can birth partners help? As a birth partner’s role is to support you through labour and birth. it is important that they are aware of your wishes and are prepared to liaise on your behalf or keep track of events when you are not able to. It is important that they are knowledgeable about the stages of labour and have discussed with you in advance ways in which they might help, whether through practical support such as massage or helping you with labour positions, or by offering you encouragement and reassurance
What is a “doula”? Doula is a Greek word that means ”woman servant” or ”caregiver”. Nowadays, this refers to someone who gives emotional and practical support to a woman before, during, and after birth. The aim is for a woman to have a positive experience of
pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood This help and support is extended to the partner and other children Doulas can offer support in pregnancy which gives time for the family to get to know her, In labour and birth, she can help with massage, suggesting different positions, liaising with professionals, and giving emotional support. After birth, doulas can help with feeding and baby care, as well as care of the mother, Some do housework, prepare meals, and entertain older children.

Your role as go-between
One of the most important roles of a birth partner, whether you are the baby’s father or someone else chosen to be the birth partner, is to be aware of what is happening during the labour and birth and to liaise with the medical professionals on behalf of the mother if necessary There may be instances when you or your labouring partner don’t understand why a certain course of action is being taken, and your partner may be in too much pain, or too preoccupied with labour, to be able to ask.Your job is to talk to the midwife or doctor and gather information about what is happening. This means that you will both feel fully informed about what is happening in labour and will be able to participate in any decisions that have to be made about the labour or birth.

Remaining calm

Even though the birth of your baby is one of the most memorable and exciting events of your life, it can also be hard to witness your partner’s pain and to stay calm under pressure. * Being mentally prepared to see your partner experience considerable pain can mean that you are more likely to respond in a reassuring, rather than anxious, way. * Breathing and relaxation techniques can help you to stay calm and focused too. * If you do start to feel flustered, it may be wise to leave the room briefly, if there is an opportune moment, to refocus.

Do babies need all this stuff?
shopping for your baby
What will I need for my baby after the birth?
For hospital births, it is recommended that you pack a labour and birth bag for yourself and a bag for the newborn baby You will need some clothes for your baby: vests and all-in-one stretchsuits, or babygrows, are easiest, especially when learning how to dress
and undress your baby. If you are in hospital for several days, you will need at least three stretchsuits and vests A baby blanket and/or a shawl can be useful and, depending on the temperature in the ward, your baby may need a hat, but be careful that she does not get too hot. Your baby needs an outdoor jumpsuit, or jacket and socks and soft booties, for when you leave hospital Any footwear should be loose so that it does not restrict your baby’s movements or circulation.
Most maternity units expect you to provide your own nappies, and one packet is usually enough. You may also need some cotton wool to clean your baby, If you choose not to breastfeed, many units provide formula milk, but this varies across units, so check what facilities are available before the birth.
You will need to have ready a baby car seat, as most hospitals won’t release you without one and the law requires that your baby travels in a car seat.
When is the best time to buy the essentials? I’m nervous about getting anything too early.
Many parents feel superstitious about buying baby items too early, especially if it is their first baby or they have had a previous difficult experience. However, some planning is needed as you may find that by the end of your pregnancy you are too tired to shop. You should also leave enough time in case you need to exchange items Try to buy items gradually. First, buy items that you will need for the
baby after the birth; these should be ready by the 37th week of pregnancy, although many parents have these by about 34 weeks. Other essential items, such as buggies, should be in the home before the birth (see right). Once you have bought the essentials, you can purchase any additions when it suits you, which may depend on how mobile you are after the birth and your access to shops. Many parents shop online as shopping with a baby can be difficult
I don’t have a lot of money - do I need to buy everything new?
Having a baby does bring financial pressures and so it is sensible to acquire second-hand items, whether handed down from friends and relatives or bought. Clothes in particular are worth acquiring secondhand as babies grow out of them long before they have made full use of them and most mothers admit to buying more clothes than necessary, so quite often you can receive second-hand unused items.
One of the main items parents worry about getting second-hand is the cot mattress. Some experts believe that you should buy a new mattress with each baby to reduce the risk of cot death (see p 276), while others believe that if the mattress is clean and dry this is not necessary, so this is a matter of preference.
What do I need to consider when choosing my baby’s mattress?
It is important for your baby’s wellbeing that you
buy a mattress that is the correct fit for your sleeping equipment So, for example, if you are using a cot, the mattress should fit the cot properly with no gaps between the mattress and the cot sides that a baby could get stuck in. As it is also important that the mattress is clean, dry. well aired, and firm, it may be preferable to buy a new rather than second-hand mattress (see p 136)
My mum wants to buy us something. What can I suggest?
The gift will depend on what you need, your mother’s budget, and what she would like to spend it on. You could plan a day shopping together and decide on the day, or you could browse a baby catalogue together for ideas. It also depends on whether the gift is for you and your partner, or for the baby Good gifts for mums include underwear, nightwear, a photo frame or album, or a baby album or naming book If your mother wishes to purchase something for the baby, this could include clothes, a baby bath, a sterilizing kit and bottles, a cot, a car seat, or a pram/buggy system.
Do I need a pram/travel system/buggy? Help!
Most parents are unsure about what type of transportation they will need for their baby and, as there are a number of options and types available, this can make choosing the right item difficult. You will certainly need to have some type of travel equipment for your baby and what you choose will vary depending on your circumstances. If you are mainly a car driver, you may want to consider a car seat that attaches to a pram, or a car seat and travel cot If you intend to walk a lot, you may find a lightweight pushchair or buggy more suitable What you choose should be practical, and within your budget, so it’s worth having a look around in shops and online to compare different models.
Is it OK to get a second-hand car seat?
Generally it is thought best not to use a second-hand car seat as you cannot be certain of its history and it may have been in an accident or damaged Car safety experts suggest that if you must use a secondhand seat, only accept one from a family member or friend, and then only if you are absolutely certain that you know its history that it comes with the original instructions, and it is not too old. They strongly discourage purchasing a car seat through a secondhand shop or classified advertisements.
Do I need to buy a cot yet, or can I start with a Moses basket?
It may help to think about the amount of space you have and where you want your baby to sleep. A Moses basket has the advantage of being small so your baby will feel snug and may settle sooner than in a cot, and it also means that your baby can sleep beside your bed. Some models come with a rocking motion so you can rock your baby to sleep while you are in bed A disadvantage is that your baby will grow out of the Moses basket after a few months. Once your baby starts to sit up, there is a danger of falling out of the Moses basket as the sides are low
At some stage you will need a cot Although at first your baby will look small in the cot and may feel less secure, there is plenty of growing room and your baby can stay in the cot for at least a couple of years (some cots convert into beds and last even longer) Some cots are available with adjustable bases, making it easier for you to put your baby into and lift her out of the cot. You will need a bigger space for the cot, which ideally will be in the baby’s bedroom.
What bedding do I need?
Most parents choose sheets and blankets. Cotton sheets can be used in layers along with a blanket, so that you can add or remove layers to keep your baby at the right temperature If your baby sleeps in a Moses basket or carry cot, you should buy sheets designed specifically for these It is important to get the right fit so that your baby is not too exposed or too covered up. Nowadays, many parents opt for baby sleeping bags (see
below). If you use a sleeping bag, you will still need a few bottom sheets for the cot.
What are the pros and cons of baby sleeping bags?
Baby sleeping bags, also known as grow bags, baby sacks, or sleep sacks, have been around for 25 years but recently have become more widely used (see
p 280). They can be used without other bedding with the baby in a vest and sleepsuit. Many parents prefer these as they keep the baby covered, regardless of how active they are during sleep, which in turn helps the baby feel secure However. the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths warns that you should avoid oversized bags as a baby could slide down inside, and although they can be used for newborns, some manufacturers recommend waiting a few weeks or months before using one to avoid this risk
Which baby monitor should I choose?
Baby monitors first appeared in the UK in the early 1980s and today there are over 400,000 on the
market, so choosing one can be daunting Although monitors vary they have the same basic component -a minimum of two units one to transmit your baby’s sounds and one that stays with you so that you can monitor your baby. Additional features include dual channels, a moving lights-sound display a sensor pad, low power and an out-of-range warning, the option to use mains or batteries, a talk-back function, and a temperature sensor. If they all have these features, it is down to personal choice and cost.
Should I buy disposable nappies?
Although many parents opt for disposable nappies as they find them more convenient, particularly when out and about, nowadays many people look for a more eco-friendly alternative, as disposable nappies, dumped in landfill sites may take hundreds of years to decompose Also, it is estimated that it costs parents about E2000 to use disposable nappies for each child You may want to investigate the different options (see p. 140).
What baby changing items do I need apart from nappies?
You need a waterproof changing mat that wipes clean. Some parents use warm water and cotton wool to ciean their baby’s genital area and bottom, or you can use baby wipes. You may also want to use a cream to prevent nappy rash. As well as the essentials, you could buy some oils (see p.219) and use changing time to massage your baby’s skin.
Should we put a dimmer switch in the nursery?
The benefit of a dimmer switch is that you can control the lighting, so that your baby’s eyes can adjust slowly However, a dimmer switch is not essential, as long as you have access to a soft light, such as a lamp or mobile that can project light
Should we buy a baby bath or can she use our big bath?
A baby bath is useful as you can use it in any room. Most parents area bit apprehensive when they first bathe their baby, and even experienced parents say that it can be tricky to hold a wriggling baby safely while trying to wash them, so using a smaller baby bath helps you to develop confidence For newborns, a washing-up bowl can also suffice. However, a baby outgrows a baby bath by around six months and the bath can take up a lot of storage space. Once your baby can sit up, at around four to six months, you could use a bath seat in your main bath, or enjoy a bath together as long as you keep the water tepid
I want to breastfeed, but should I buy some bottles just in case?
The problem with having bottles to hand is that it may weaken your resolve to breastfeed, and evidence shows that women are more likely to continue breastfeeding if they do not have an alternative readily available Having said that, if you wish to give your baby some water, or to start expressing once you are breastfeeding confidently, then you will need some bottles
I plan to bottlefeed. What do I need to get in advance?
You will need plastic bottles (teats are included), a sterilizing unit or kit, which often has everything you need. and your preferred formula. Each comes in a range of options, so you need to decide what works best for you As you get to know your baby, you may have to change the type of teat and/or formula, so it is not advisable to buy too many before the birth There is a range of sterilizers available (see p 239).

Baby clothing
When buying clothes for your newborn, bear in mind that babies grow very quickly, so buy just a few items in smaller sizes Choose easy-to-clean, machine-washable natural fabrics and avoid fussy styles with ribbons or tricky openings, opting instead for easyto-use poppers Essential clothing items for your newborn include,
3 or 4 vests.
4 or 5 all-in-one sleepsuits, or babygrows, with front-opening poppers
* A snowsuit or jacket for outdoors, or a cardigan for warmer months.
* A woolly hat in the winter months and a light hat for your baby in the summer.
Loose-fitting bootees or cotton socks.
A blanket or shawl for outdoors.

Essential items

As well as clothes and nappies for your newborn, there are several other items that you will ideally have ready before the birth.
* A cot or Moses basket for your baby to sleep in and a clean, dry mattress. * Suitable bedding for your newborn! either lightweight blankets and sheets or newborn baby sleeping bags.
* A pushchair or buggy to transport your baby You may also want a sling to carry your baby around.
* A baby car seat if you are travelling with your baby in a car.