How Soon Can I Go Home with My Baby? FAQ
How Soon Can I Go Home with My Baby? FAQ
I just want to go home
I hate the thought of being in hospital for long - how soon can I go home with my baby?
In most maternity units, there is a degree of flexibility as to how long you remain in hospital after
the birth If you wish to stay for as brief a period as possible, talk to your midwife about this. In
the past, postnatal stays tended to be longer - in 1997-98, the average stay in England was 2.2 days,
and was 5.5 days in 1981 Nowadays, the minimum length of time in hospital is about six hours and many
mothers just stay overnight to rest and gain some confidence. In some areas, you can move to a doctor’s
unit or birthing centre. To help make the transition home as smooth as possible plan your return,
making sure you have plenty of support in place.
How long you stay in hospital will largely depend on your type of delivery If you have a vaginal
delivery, you should be able to return home fairly soon, but a Caesarean may mean you need to stay in
for about three days Also, if your baby is born early, or is unwell, or struggling to feed or maintain
his temperature, then you will be advised to stay in hospital until your baby is ready When babies are
premature, mothers may have to leave them in the special care unit and visit regularly
Will I have any privacy in hospital? I don’t want to be on a ward.
There is usually an attempt to make maternity wards as cheerful as possible, although the reality is
they are often busy and lacking privacy. Your delivery room is likely to be a single room and may have
ensuite facilities. Postnatal ward facilities vary tremendously in different locations: there may be
single rooms, small rooms, or traditional Nightingale wards with a corridor of beds Each bed will have
curtains to pull around it for extra privacy, and bathroom facilities can vary.
Where will my baby sleep when we’re in the hospital?
Mothers and babies usually remain together for 24 hours a day You should only be separated from your
baby if there is a medical reason for this, for example your baby needs special care, and you should be
fully informed before agreeing to this. Your baby will usually sleep in a cot attached to the bed or
next to it This is recommended by the World Health Organization (WHO) and UNICEF who run a programme
called The Baby Friendly Initiative This works with healthcare systems to ensure a high standard of
care for mothers and babies, and many maternity units are guided by their advice.
My friend’s baby slept almost continuously for the first day or so. Is this normal?
The birth process is tiring for the baby as well as the mother and so it is not unusual for the first
24 hours to be fairly quiet, as your baby rests after the birth Babies are often very alert and ready
for a feed immediately after the birth, but then have a long sleep. Also, if you had drugs such as
pethidine or diamorphine, during labour: these can linger in the baby’s system and contribute to the
drowsiness. If your baby does sleep a lot at first, make the most of the opportunity to rest while
still offering regular feeds — your midwife will advise you. After the first 24 hours, you may still
find that your baby is feeding erratically, maybe every hour for five hours, and then having a
four-hour sleep. Rest assured there is no set pattern in the early days; your baby should feed when she
wants to and you shouldn’t expect any routine to emerge at this stage.
Will the hospital help me with the everyday care of my baby if I’m having problems?
While -you are in hospital there will be midwives and maternity support workers to help you They have
plenty of advice and information to offer so don’t be afraid to ask about anything that is worrying
you, such as specific questions about your baby, or any aspects of baby care (see below). However do
bear in mind that maternity units tend to be extremely
busy and this, coupled with the fact that presently there is a shortage of midwives nationwide, means
you may have to be patient and prepared to wait a while at times before someone is free to help you
Before you go home you will also be given contact numbers in case you need help or advice in between
your postnatal checks.
Once you are home, your community midwife and your health visitor will be available to offer advice and
support They will also be able to give you details of local mother and baby groups, and postnatal
drop-in clinics, all of which offer support and information for new mums and their families and give
you the chance to meet other mums.
Do we need a car seat straight away or can I hold my baby in the car?
If you intend to take your baby home in the car, it is a legal requirement for them to travel in a car
seat appropriate for their age. Indeed, it is illegal for children to travel in a car without a
correctly fitting and fitted car or booster seat until they are over
Getting advice in hospital
Although the arrival of your baby is a time of incredible excitement, it can also seem overwhelming and
you may feel daunted by the enormous task of looking after and meeting the needs of this tiny new baby.
One of the benefits of your stay in hospital, as well as recovering from the birth, is to help you feel
confident in the care of your baby, There are several aspects of baby care and feeding that the
hospital midwives can help with.
* Staff can help you to establish breastfeeding by
guiding you on technique. Some hospitals have a BATHING HELP: dedicated breastfeeding counsellor on
site.
* The midwives can help you with everyday care by
demonstrating topping and tailing, bathing techniques,
changing a nappy, and dressing and undressing.
Small babies and children need the protection that baby seats and child seats are designed to provide.
So, yes, you do need to get your car seat ready before the birth to take your baby home from the
hospital.
I’m going to be on my own when I go home and I’m worried I won’t manage.
It’s only natural to feel anxious about your new responsibilities when you arrive home with your baby
Being a single parent is increasingly common so don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your midwife and
health visitor will visit you to help with any baby-care problems and you will be given contact
telephone numbers before your discharge from hospital in case you experience problems or need advice in
between postnatal visits and checks
When you are on your own, it’s a good idea to arrange for a group of reliable friends or family members
who are willing to assist you with babysitting, morale boosting, and provide general all-round back-up
in the early days. Over time you
can establish a network of other single parents in your area with whom you can share your problems and
solutions. Also, ask your midwife or health visitor for contact details of local postnatal groups and
organizations that support single parents.
My mum is coming to stay with me but I don’t want her to take over. How should I approach this?
Overbearing mothers and mothers-in-law can be a problem, however well-intentioned they are. You will
find it’s not just mothers who insist on issuing lots of advice and information, but friends and other
relatives can be just as vocal Although this advice is often useful, some of it may be old-fashioned or
simply conflict with -your own ideas on how to care for your baby
Even though -you may be feeling vulnerable after the birth, practise being clear and assertive about
the way in which you want to do things and make sure that people understand and respect your views and
that your partner supports you in this too. It may help to pass on leaflets or books that you have read
so your mother can see how things have changed since she brought up her children, and what advice you
are following. You could suggest other ways in which she could help, such as shopping, cooking, and
cleaning, so that you are left with the care of your baby Most mums just want to help in some way, so
it’s up to you to channel her enthusiasm
Will I get any sleep at all in the early days?
You will get sleep but whether it is of the same quantity and quality that you are used to is
questionable. Although young babies need a lot more sleep than adults, approximately 16 hours each day,
they do not take all of this sleep in one long stretch as they need to wake up for frequent small feeds
Up to the age of three months, babies have ‘’sleep—wake” cycles throughout the day with longer spells
of sleep at night
The length of these cycles varies from baby to
baby, but on average your baby will sleep about two hours at a time in the day, and four to six hours
at night. All babies wake up a number of times throughout the night. The length of time your baby
sleeps for during the night may also be affected by how she is fed. Several studies suggest that
breastfed babies take longer than formula-fed babies to develop a pattern of sleeping through the
night. This is because breast milk is easier to digest than formula milk, so babies get hungry more
quickly and wake more often in the night Most babies are physically capable of sleeping through the
night from the age of six months.
Should my baby be in her own room or in with us and, if so, for how long?
In the early days, when your baby is fed frequently, often every two to three hours, you may find it
more convenient to have her closer to you. UNICEF recommends that babies share their mother’s room for
the first six months of life as this helps to sustain breastfeeding and is also thought to help protect
babies against cot death (see p.276).
As -your baby grows and develops, her needs and sleeping patterns will change One of the main changes
is that your baby will start to sleep longer between feeds at night and often this is the stage that
many parents decide is a good time to move their baby into their own room. You may also find that, if
your baby is a light sleeper, she may sleep better in her own room as she is less likely to be
disturbed by you and your partner
I’m a really deep sleeper and I’m worried that I won’t hear my baby crying. Is this likely?
This is a common worry for many new parents,
but you should rest assured that it is highly unlikely you will sleep through your baby crying Many new
parents find that they do not sleep as deeply following the birth of their baby, which may be partly an
unconscious worry about sleeping too deeply and not attending to their baby’s needs Having your baby
sleep in the same room as you to begin with and using a baby monitor later if your baby moves into her
own room will help you to feel confident about hearing your baby at night It’s a good idea to try to
catch up on some sleep during the day-time and take a nap while your baby is sleeping, as this will
mean that you are not totally exhausted when you go to bed at night. You should also learn to trust the
greatest prompt of all, your natural inbuilt maternal instincts!
Who can I turn to if I have problems with breastfeeding?
Although breastfeeding comes naturally to some mums, for many others it can prove surprisingly
difficult. Initially you will have midwives and maternity care assistants on hand in the hospital to
assist you with breastfeeding. Once you return home, your community midwife and health visitor can
continue to advise you, but obviously they will not be available 24 hours a day If you continue to have
problems with breastfeeding, there are many helplines and local support groups available for which your
hospital, doctor’s surgery, and health centre should have contact details. Also, there are plenty of
Internet sites that have forums, which are useful for discussing problems and comparing experiences.
Some midwives and health visitors run local drop-in breastfeeding sessions, and some breastfeeding
groups meet informally in cafes, so enquire whether there are any of these groups locally The National
Childbirth Trust (NCT) (see p 310) also has a national network of trained breastfeeding counsellors and
a helpline for you to call.
Leaving hospital
Each hospital varies, but generally, before being discharged from the hospital, several checks take
place. *You will be examined by a midwife or doctor to check that your uterus is starting to return to
its pre-pregnancy size.
* If you had stitches, these will be checked to see if they are healing properly.
*Your baby will undergo various newborn checks (see p.220) and will need to be signed off by a
paediatrician.
* If you need to take any medication home, this will be dispensed and you will be told how to arrange
your postnatal check.
First days at home
Regardless of whether or not this is your first baby, on your return home you are likely to be both
physically and mentally exhausted. If this is your first baby, although the transition to motherhood is
exciting, it can be daunting and, once home, you may be surprised at how big an adjustment this is.
While some families want to share their joy with family and friends as soon as possible, others decide
to have some quiet time together at first to get to know the new arrival and get used to their new
roles Try to put worries about housework and clearing up to the back of your mind – these will keep
Hormonal changes may mean that you feel quite low and weepy about three days after the birth, known as
the ”baby blues” (see p.281). Getting as much rest as possible will help you to recuperate and begin
to feel normal once more.
I don’t want to go home too soon - can I stay in hospital if I want to?
When you leave hospital is something that you will agree with the hospital midwives and doctors, and it
will be dependent on your particular needs and circumstances. Although you obviously can’t remain in
hospital indefinitely, generally you won’t be transferred home until you feel ready to return The
midwife will ensure that you are confident feeding -your baby, whether this be breastfeeding or
bottlefeeding and that you are confident providing everyday care for your baby, which is good
preparation for returning home.
When you go home, your care will be transferred back to the community midwife, so you will continue to
receive support, information, and advice as necessary Also, planning in advance support for when you
return home may help you to feel more confident about leaving the hospital As well as support from your
partner, try to enlist the help of family, friends, and close neighbours to help you cope in the first
few weeks after the birth.
BEING TOGETHER:
We had so many visitors in hospital last time it was exhausting. Can I stop this?
Many people seem to believe that if you are in hospital then they can visit whenever they want to,
whereas most people, even close family. wouldn’t just turn up on your doorstep unannounced if you were
at home with your baby If you know in advance how you will feel then you really need to be assertive
this time and let people know your wishes It is possible to do this in a diplomatic way without
offending people by simply telling friends and maybe family too that you would prefer to have some
quiet time with your partner and children during the first few days to recuperate and get to know your
new baby. Most people will understand this sentiment and will be more than happy to wait for a few days
until you are feeling ready to see them.
If you are discharged fairly early from hospital
it may be easier to control the flow of visitors as you will be able to dictate visiting on your own
terms. You can then take the time that you need to settle down to a new family life.