Your Baby`s First Year. General Points of View.
General Points of View
In this section we describe a number of points of view which serve as a guideline for the way we view, and relate to, young children.
The child’s development and care, sleeping and waking, play and toys, safety and feeding are subjects which will be tackled in this section in terms of content. A practical approach to these subjects can be found under the advice for every stage (see Chapters 3-6).
The child’s development
From the moment the child is born, the parents have the important task of monitoring his or her development. This gives rise to many questions. How can we best prepare for the child’s future? Should we, or should we not, familiarize the child with elements of adult life at an early stage, so that she will be prepared for this later on? The answers to these questions will depend on your view of the child’s developmental stages.
We proceed on the assumption that the more successfully a child is able to fully develop at a particular stage, the more harmonious the development will be. This also applies for future development.
Fora baby and young child, this means that we must create the conditions in which a baby can most successfully be a baby, and a young child can most successfully be a young child.
The first developmental stage after birth is strongly centred on the child’s physical and motor development. Growth is quite exceptional during the first year of life, and is still rather like the growth of the embryo. The development and growth, which takes place outside the womb in humans, takes place completely inside the womb in other mammals. When the child is one year old, the development has reached a level comparable to the birth level of other mammals.
For the baby’s development, it is good if the conditions after birth are still quite similar to the situation in the womb. This particularly concerns the protective cocoon around the child. Warmth, a sense of security and some protection against environmental influences promote the baby’s health. It is extremely important for the baby’s physical development for her to have physical contact — rocking, cuddling or simply holding the baby in your arms. Children who lack this physical contact do not develop well, even if they have ‘the best feeding.’ These babies immediately start to grow again when attention and care is devoted to physical contact. Satisfying the need for physical contact gives the child a basis for the rest of his or her life.
Nevertheless, in humans, a good environment alone does not guarantee development. Every person has his own rate of development and his own way of developing. For example, there are babies who develop motor skills very quickly, sit up at an early stage, roll over, stand and walk. On the other hand, other children appear to ’stand still’ in their development fora long time, then seem to miss out a few stages and can suddenly walk, even though they never crawled. Some children start to develop speech very early, while others remain unintelligible for a long time.
It is important to be aware of a child’s own way of developing. There may be a tendency to a certain one-sidedness. This sort of one-sidedness — for example, the slow development of speech — can be regarded as the child’s own way of developing. It is only when this one-sidedness is particularly strong that it may be seen as a developmental disorder.
Thus, the first year of the child’s development can be seen as a continuation of the embryonic stage.
During this first year of life, the body matures to the extent that the child becomes able to control it for herself. A one-year-old child can stand and go where she likes and move about freely in space. It is as though she is taking charge of her own physical body. This stage of development depends on healthy physical growth and development. Illness and malnutrition will immediately delay the process. Development at this stage is mainly influenced by the physical organism and the care of this organism.
The basis for the later development of speech is laid during the first year of life. Talk to, and with, the baby, and play with her. She sees the gestures which accompany words, and hears the songs. All this contributes to the child becoming increasingly familiar with human language. The clearest sign of this is contented baby talk by the end of the first year of life.
After the first year, the child depends on being able to imitate what she has heard. She will start to copy the words herself, first words of one syllable and then words of several syllables. She then begins to combine words, and finally produces short sentences. In this way, the child enters a second area in which she can move about freely — the field of language. By mastering speech and language, the child takes part in social life in her own way, and becomes able to express herself through the spoken word.
The next stage of development is the time at which the child starts to say ‘U Prior to that stage the child called herself by her own name. This can be seen as an expression of the fact that the child was not yet deeply connected with her own body; thus in a sense the child saw herself from outside, as other people see her.
When she becomes more closely connected with her own body, the first, still primitive, sense of self-consciousness emerges and the child experiences a sense of self; she starts to say ‘F and experiences herself as a centre. As a result of this process, the child may also feel cut off from the world around her.
By the age of three or four, the child has gone through a sort of first cycle of development. By learning to stand and walk, she has achieved a certain degree of freedom in space. By learning to speak and understand, she can develop socially and communicate with others. With the deeper connection of the self and the body, self-consciousness emerges for the first time, and this is expressed when the child uses the word ‘I’ to talk about herself.
Learning to use language independently is an important psychological development, as is developing a sense of individuality. However, healthy physical development is always a prerequisite for this. Motor development is particularly important for the development of psychological functions later on. Playing
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with bricks, simple ball games, finger games, circle games — in short, everything we do with the physical organism of the child as the point of contact — will have a positive influence on development.
The behaviour of the people in the child’s direct environment is very important for development. A small child learns and develops by imitating what she sees, hears, feels and so on. In this way the child learns to walk, speak and think, and during this first learning process carefully assimilates all the details — particularly during the first three years. This once again underlines the importance of being conscious of our own behaviour as well as the material environment of the child (see also Impressions, p.25).
Admittedly, the aspects of child development described here are very general, but they can still provide a direction for the way in which we behave with the child. The care for the physical processes of growth and development are of central importance. We can measure and weigh growth, while we can assess development from the development of the motor system, the mastery of language, and the birth of the ’self’ when the child starts to say ‘F.
Sleeping and waking
During the course of life a person’s need for sleep undergoes great changes. A newborn baby often sleeps for between eighteen and twenty hours out of every twenty-four. A one-year-old can sleep for fourteen hours, while an adult needs between six and eight hours of sleep. Therefore, in the first year of life, the child should spend a great deal of the time asleep.
We have seen that there are two important things in this first year — growth (a baby’s weight triples in the first year) and development. Growth takes place particularly during sleep, while development is stimulated during the waking hours. The various organs ‘learn’ to operate in a sense, with the use of the body during, the daytime (by eating, moving, etc.). What the organs ‘learn’ during the day continues to have an effect while the baby sleeps, and is assimilated in the body’s growth activity.
A one-sided predominance of growth and excessive stimulation to develop both have a negative effect. There should be a healthy balance between the two processes; an alternation between waking and sleeping which is suitable for each stage. When the child is about one year old, this balance will have become established in the operation of the organs, in a particular day/night rhythm — the biological clock.
For good health and for the child to be able to make use of his physical capabilities properly, it is essential for this day/night rhythm to become well established. Therefore, it is literally of vital importance for a small child to establish a steady pattern during the day with regard to sleeping, eating and waking.
A steady pattern of set times in the life of a child promotes growth and development and helps to establish a healthy rhythm of sleeping and waking. Too much stimulation during the day may prevent the child from falling asleep; however, a completely unstimulating environment, without healthy challenges for the child, can also lead to problems with sleep because the child is not sufficiently tired. A healthy routine in the day, alternating challenges and periods of quiet, being together and being alone, can help to correct sleeping problems. Rituals for going to sleep can also be helpful — rocking, singing lullabies, the use of musical boxes or a prayer for the child are methods used by many families.
Sleeping well means that the child must be able to surrender and ‘let go.’ This is not as easy for some children as for others. It is helpful to give the child a sense of security, for example, in the enclosed space of the cradle (possibly with a hood) or lying against the mother. Warmth promotes a sense of comfort and relaxation; a bonnet, a sleeping bag, some drops of lavender water on the pillow, or a hot water bottle can sometimes help babies who find it difficult to fall asleep. Hot water bottles should always be removed before the baby is placed in the warm cradle. A light silk bonnet is appropriate for indoor use, but be aware of the risk of overheating. Wrapping the child up firmly pro-
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vides a sense of security as well as a feeling of warmth.
However, there are babies who assimilate everything that happens around them so greedily that they actively seem to suppress their feelings of tiredness and the need for sleep. The more stimulation they are given, the hungrier they seen to be. They are unable to set their own boundaries. Increasingly, we see babies who spend many hours of the day — and sometimes the night —awake, constantly asking for attention from the environment. For these children, the parents must learn to see when they show signs of being sleepy. The fact that this is quite an art is clear from the many stories told about this problem. If you miss the right moment, the child appears to go past his sleepiness and will keep going for many hours. Signs of sleepiness are restlessness or agitation, looking away, rubbing the eyes and face, warm hands and red ears, grizzling and crying. By responding to these signs of sleep immediately and consistently, by placing the baby in his cot, it is possible to create a healthy need for sleep. By not responding straightaway every time the baby cries, he will learn to resolve minor discomfort for himself. It is important to realize that any attention wakes the baby up. All the extra attention and special behaviour associated with going to sleep often achieve quite the opposite of what the parents hope to achieve.